BETTY: Her name is Jodie Papadakis and she's my idol.
I've been following her career, like, forever.
I can't believe I finally get to meet her.
When I found out that she was running the YETI program, I screamed.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
I should probably buy Mrs. Bowen a gift.
Okay, less talking, more taping.
I can't believe I set this party for Friday!
How am I supposed to get all of this done in three days?
That's what your family is for. Don't worry, we'll get it done.
Did I tell you that she started out as a junior assistant
at The New York Observer?
Five years, she became the Editor-in-Chief. She's a genius.
Wow, and you chose us over her?
No, tonight's just a mixer. I get to see her tomorrow.
Oh, Betty, what do you think if for the re-opening,
I hire someone to do music or magic or something?
JUSTIN: Mom. No magic.
I try so hard to get the bridge-and-tunnel out of this family.
Would it be too weird to ask her to be my mentor right away?
Betty, your sister just asked you a question.
Yeah, hello?
Right, yes. Do you know what else would be fun?
Gift bags!
I can't afford gift bags.
I spent all my money on this beautiful sign and this new merch.
That's short for merchandise.
Hilda! It won't cost you a thing.
Mode gets samples all the time. I can just bring some home tomorrow.
Hey, what do you think?
(GASPING)
"Hilda's Beautilities Plus!"
Oh, my God, this is so exciting!
This party is gonna be like my very own Broadway opening!
Yes, it's like Spring Awakening, Avenue Q and South Pacific
all rolled into one.
Grandpa, nice!
Hey, I keep up.
(HILDA CHUCKLES)
BETTY: Hey, shouldn't that face outward?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
IGNACIO: I wasn't done.
There is no other way to spin it. Elle kicked our butts last month.
Was it classy to show Sarah Silverman on the toilet?
No. But their numbers were way up, and a win is a win.
So trashy. That never would've happened at Elle on my watch.
Weren't you an intern?
- Shut up. - (WHISPERS) Guys.
Anyway, we are not gonna lose again.
If we do, one of you dies.
I have something big planned for April. I can't talk about it just yet.
Treat everything we discuss in here as proprietary.
Those cows at Elle would love to know what we're up to.
On the flip side, if any of you hear anything about them,
there's a very nice bottle of wine in it for you.
And maybe you'll live to see another day. Now get back to work.
I love the whole good cop-bad cop thing you two have going.
It's not really a thing. It's more like I'm nice, she's not.
Can I help it if my balls are bigger than his?
God, I love this woman.
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah.
Will I see you at my party on Friday? I bumped Graydon Carter for you.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Molly has a school pageant that night,
but I plan on talking her out of it.
(EX CLAIMS)
- Molly's coming? - Is that all right?
Of course! She's your fiancée.
I guess I'll just have to bump Anna Wintour off the guest list.
But, you know, serves her right.
I think she stole a pair of sunglasses from me last year.
Good. I'm looking forward to it.
(SIGHS)
DANIEL: This is the recently unearthed
Halston original from the Fireworks collection.
Wow, that is incredible.
I found this private collector who's gonna loan it to us for one shoot.
Keira Knightley will do our cover if she can wear this dress.
- Shut up! - I mean, on that cover alone
we got 30 more pages of ad buys.
This could really be a big game-changer for us.
Suck on that, Elle! Go Daniel, go Daniel.
We talked about that.
All right, I need you to arrange to pick this up
from the collector's loft tomorrow.
Here's the info. Please, Betty, keep it hush-hush.
I feel like an international spy.
Except real spies don't announce they're spies.
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Daniel, would you mind stepping into my office?
I'd like to show you something.
I have some friends here in security.
I didn't realize you and Molly were so close.
You're awful.
Perhaps in the past, but not this time.
Look, this is the only copy. It's yours.
- What do you want? - Nothing.
This is a personal matter.
I understand. She's engaged to your friend, our... Our colleague.
Look, I'm sure you probably don't want to talk to me about this,
but some things are worth the risk.
We both know how hard it is to find love.
(STAMMERS) It's not love.
Look, I don't know what it is, or how she feels.
You know how you feel.
And it looks like Molly might be on the same page.
Don't you think you owe it to yourself to see whether there's anything there?
(SIGHS)
You gave him the DVD? What the hell is going on with you, woman?
And don't say, "Not everything's a scheme, Marc,"
because I will slap you.
Not everything is a scheme, Marc.
Okay, I think we both know that I'm not going to slap you.
Sometimes honesty works, too.
Oh, I get it. So honesty's the scheme. The old honesty scheme.
Yeah! That's a classic.
No, no. This is one of those rare times where what Daniel wants
and what I want intersect.
Now, if Daniel and Molly end up together,
where does that leave Connor?
(GASPS)
Heartbroken, and then you'll be there to pick up the pieces.
You know me. I'm very nurturing.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Very. Very nurturing.
Christina, "Betty Suarez. Young Editor in Training."
This is so sweet!
I wanted you to have something special for your first day.
Just don't you forget about me when you're a big star
and I'm still stuck here in my tailor's dungeon.
All right, I know when you're feeling sorry for yourself.
Well, I've been re-lining Wilhelmina's dress
for her super-elite cocktail party,
even though the old one was perfectly good.
And all this extra bending down is making me feel dizzy
because I'm carrying her little rodent,
which seems to be kicking me in the gut every five seconds today.
And the Internet's gone down.
(CRYING)
Sorry. It's all the hormones. Just...
Okay, all right, okay.
Hey, hey, you know what would cheer you up?
- What, what, what? - Come to Hilda's!
She's having this huge re-opening of her salon. It'll be fun.
Yeah, that does sound like fun.
I like your sister. She says what's on her mind, eh?
And she drinks.
I used to drink.
(SOBBING)
Christina, are you sure you're gonna be okay?
No, I'm fine. I do this all day long.
(SIGHS)
Now, go, go!
- Are you sure? - I'm positive! Go, go!
Okay, but you'll call me if you need anything.
Yes! Now go on, hurry up. I know you're really excited about this.
I am. I am so excited.
Christina, this could be the beginning of the rest of my life.
Welcome to the funeral.
The magazine business is dying. Dying.
Does that frighten you? It should. It scares the hell out of me.
So what do you do? Do you give up?
Or do you toughen up?
When I arrived in New York with my curly hair and this voice,
do you think anyone took me seriously? No.
They mocked me. So from then on, I made...
- I love her. - Did you eat onions for lunch?
Do I hear talking?
How can that possibly be? I'm talking.
Good, thank you. Now, let's get started.
Marc St. James, raise your hand.
Tell me the name and magazine of five of the people in this room, go.
(STUTTERING)
Heather Jackson, Gourmet. Tom Buckley, Sports Illustrated.
Eric West, Harper's. Evie Foster, Out.
And Rita Thompson, Rolling Stone.
- Excellent. Betty Suarez. - Yes?
Five people. Name and magazine.
Um...
Uh... Uh... Uh...
Well, I know Marc. He works with me at Mode. Hi, Marc.
- Who are you? - He's just kidding.
Didn't you meet anyone at the mixer?
I wasn't at the mixer. I had a family obligation.
And since it was just casual, I skipped it.
Who else missed the event last night?
Anyone else have a family obligation, a sick hamster?
No? Good.
Because last night wasn't casual. Last night was an opportunity
for you to learn something about your future colleagues.
But I guess that wasn't important to Miss Suarez.
It is. It's very important to me.
- Can I change seats? - No.
First assignment, contacts. By this time next week,
I want everyone in here to have 40 new ones.
And family doesn't count.
You have to make a lot of tough choices in this business.
If you can't do that, then don't plan on coming back.
(BETTY SIGHING)
CONNOR: Hold the lift!
Thanks, Betty.
You're doing YETI.
Huh?
Yeah.
My friend Jodie's running that this year. She's really terrific.
Yeah, yeah, she's great.
She can be pretty tough, though.
Yeah, well...
She was a little unfair to me yesterday, 'cause, you know,
I showed up to class completely prepared, and then she called me out
'cause I didn't go to some silly networking thing.
Well, networking is one of those annoying things.
But if you're serious about your career, it's something you have to do.
Well, I had a family thing, you know. I couldn't disappoint them.
I cannot tell you how many things I've had to miss because of my job.
You just ask Molly.
Yeah, well, it might not matter anyway.
She told me that if I can't get 40 new contacts by next class,
not to come back.
All right, Betty, you do what I did when I was your age.
You find somebody who's really good at the superficial stuff,
and you do what they do.
(GASPS)
My answer is "no."
Marc, come on, please. I'm so desperate.
Okay, give me one good reason why I should do this.
Well, maybe because if I hadn't stepped aside,
you wouldn't have gotten into YETI to begin with?
(EX CLAIMS) You're gonna bring up that old chestnut again?
Fine. But you do not get to play this card again. Okay?
Meet me and Amanda after work. We'll take you to Swill.
Everyone you need to meet will be there.
Great.
Wait, no, Marc, I can't do that. I promised my sister I'd help...
(EX CLAIMS) Don't care. You got me tonight, or not at all.
(SIGHS)
Hilda, hi. Look, I'm so sorry,
but I'm not gonna be able to help out tonight.
Betty, we were supposed to do these gift bags together.
I know, and we still are, just tomorrow.
See, if I don't do this YETI thing tonight, they're gonna kick me out.
Fine. I get it. We'll do it tomorrow. Bye.
Bye.
Sweetie, if Betty had a choice, you know she'd be here.
- Yeah. - Come on, we got work to do.
All right.
Thank you.
- Excuse me a second. - Okay.
- Molly! - Daniel!
- Hey. - Hi.
- So did the dress work out? - Yeah. It was great.
You know, it was very glamorous. Actually, I just came to return it. So...
All right. Awesome!
(SIGHS)
- You know, I... - Daniel, could we...
- Go ahead. - You go.
(CHUCKLES)
Uh...
We just... We never got a chance to talk about what happened.
- You know, in the Closet. - Yeah.
I just... I wanted to tell you that...
- CONNOR: Hey, babe. - Hey.
- Ready for lunch? - Mmm-hmm.
Thanks for keeping her company, mate.
Bye.
DANIEL: I don't know what happened.
You know, I've been with a million women...
Every time I'm around her, it's like I just act like a stupid teenager.
- Because you care for her. - God, I'm such an idiot.
(CHUCKLING) Yes, well, you're also human.
You know, I swear Molly was just about to say something important,
and of course that's when Connor came up and kissed her.
(SCOFFS)
Well, maybe Mode's not the place for that conversation.
Yeah, but what choice do I have?
Well, you're both coming to my party on Friday.
Knowing Connor, he'll be working the room.
It's an opportunity for you to finish your conversation, uninterrupted.
Hmm.
Here's my card. Maybe we'll do business someday.
"The Gorgeous Gourmet," that is catchy.
- Here's mine. - Thanks.
- All right. Talk to you later. - Okay.
- Well, that wasn't so... - Terrible.
- Horrible. - Could not have gone worse.
You spent 22 minutes and 47 seconds talking to a caterer.
- A caterer! - A caterer!
- He was interesting. - Useless!
The point of networking is to gather information to advance your career.
Watch and learn.
MARC: Step one, forge a bond.
Your name, where you work and one memorable fact.
I'm Marc St. James, I work for Wilhelmina Slater.
I once had a threesome with Jon Hamm and Mia Hamm.
I call it "The Night of the Hamm Sandwich."
(CHUCKLES)
- Well, that's ridiculous. - It's memorable.
- But it's a lie. - Or is it?
It is.
Step two, gathering information.
In order to get info, you're going to have to give info.
Do you know why Heidi Klum never wears open-toed shoes?
The trick is to make it sound juicy, but really mean nothing.
Twelve little piggies.
I know, it's disgusting. I'm not even kidding about that.
So what were you saying about next month's cover model?
And most importantly, step three, the exit strategy.
Get in, get info, get out.
See, I don't like to be rude. I mean, how do you just stop someone
in the middle of a conversation without hurting their...
Betty, could you just hold on one sec?
Oh!
Okay, I get it. Okay, Amanda. I get it.
- Amanda? - She's not coming back.
And neither am I. I've given you all I have to give.
No, Marc! Don't go, I'm not ready.
Yes, you are. You're a mean, not-so-lean, contact-getting machine.
You're the Terminator. You're the Betty-nator.
Go get them.
BE TTY: Okay, memorable fact.
I know a murderer.
Thank you. Here's mine.
BE TTY: Give info that sounds juicy but means nothing.
We totally hired that writer to go to Milan.
Just FYI, he has a pay-per-view problem. Porn.
And what designer did you say you'll be featuring this month?
That is very interesting.
Get info, get out.
(EX CLAIMS)
Actually, could you excuse me just one second?
You were very interesting.
37, 38, 39. Shoot. One more.
- Hi. Betty Suarez. You are? - Exhausted. I hate networking.
Oh, my God, me, too! I didn't know it was okay to admit that.
What's gonna happen?
The networking police are gonna come and arrest us?
Yeah, and like charge us with "failure to chit-chat"?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I just don't see how knowing that that guy is into S&M
is going to help my career.
Especially because that guy isn't in publishing.
He's a dentist.
(EX CLAIMS IN DISGUST)
I'm Teri. And I'm not doing this to network, you just seem really nice.
Oh.
Elle.
Mode. Elle. Here we go.
I suppose we should be using each other to get information.
Yeah. No.
I mean, we could just talk, you know, like humans.
Blue braces. Bold.
- I like your pink stripe, it's cool. - Thanks.
I mean, it was 20 minutes. That's not too long to spend on a caterer, right?
Hell, no. Plus, Gorgeous Gourmet totally rocks.
They're doing our holiday party this year.
Oh!
No.
(EX CLAIMING)
I'm gonna go clean that up.
- This isn't my exit strategy, by the way. - Didn't think it was.
You know, after all this fake networking,
it's nice to meet someone in the magazine industry who's real.
Yeah. Same here.
I'll be back.
Hold the presses!
I love your energy, Betty, but now is not the time.
I just found out Elle is doing their center spread in the Venice canals.
Just like we were. So back to the drawing board.
I know, I heard, but get this.
Elle booked Jessica Stam for their cover shoot.
She just broke up with her Italian boyfriend and refuses to go to Italy.
So they're moving the whole shoot to Paris.
So Venice is back on! Nice work!
You just earned yourself a bottle of wine.
(WHOOPING)
I guess I'll be picking that up for myself?
- Yes. But I will be very generous. - Thank you.
You know, this whole networking thing is really paying off for me.
The only way I knew about Jessica Stam
is Teri, my new business contact who works at Elle.
I met her last night, she gave me the whole inside scoop.
And what did you have to give up for that?
That Peter Francis is handsy with the models.
- Everybody knows that. - I know.
Hey, Daniel, if it's not too much trouble,
I was wondering if I could just cut out early tonight?
- My sister's got a thing. - Actually, there is something.
I don't mean to sound neurotic,
but it would be really great if you picked up the Halston dress
rather than sending a messenger. It's gonna be ready at 5:00.
Oh, Um...
Is that a problem?
No. No problem.
Papi, thank you so much for picking up these samples.
Tell Hilda I will be there as soon as I can.
I still don't understand why you can't have someone else
do this super-secret task.
Because Daniel only trusts me to do it.
And, Dad, I swear if it wasn't important, I wouldn't be doing it.
Well, your sister was counting on you.
You know, the local paper's coming to do a feature on her.
(GASPS)
She's a nervous wreck.
She's gonna be so great. She's so good with people.
Hey, listen, I could always come around early and help, if you want.
(EX CLAIMS)
Christina will come and help. Perfect.
Betty, are you getting how much this re-launch party means to Hilda?
- She's putting everything into it. - Dad, I get it.
And I give you my word, I will be there. Now, I really have to get going.
Christina's gonna help you finish in here, and I will see you soon.
- Okay. - Yeah.
WILHELMINA: Perfect. Thank you.
Done.
MARC: Wow, I can't even imagine what this place is gonna look like tonight.
The food, the drinks, the New York media elite.
(SIGHS)
- Is it as magical as it sounds? - Yes, yes, yes.
Now, the whole idea is to give Daniel and Molly some time alone.
So, first, I'll pull Connor aside to meet Arianna Huffington.
Oh, I've always wanted to meet her.
Stop hinting, Marc. You're not invited.
Now, while Connor is occupied with Arianna,
Daniel will swoop in, take Molly into the bedroom, so they can talk.
Juicy couture.
And then you walk in with Connor and see Daniel on top of Molly...
No, no, no. Marc. I told you. This is not a plan.
Okay, I am just not getting this. Maybe I need to be here to see it.
Maybe not.
CHRISTINA: Hey, Hilda.
I tell you, Hilda, this is a great setup you've got going here.
You know, you can shop. You can get your hair cut.
Throw in a food court, I would never leave.
No, but listen, you must be really proud of yourself, though.
I am.
I am. I've screwed up a lot, and I finally feel like I'm getting my act together.
(CHUCKLES)
This is the biggest thing I've ever done. Not that my sister's noticed.
No, I think she has. She's just been really busy lately.
Yeah, well, you can't live your whole life for work.
I'm re-opening my salon tonight, I still got to Justin's school this morning
to help with the bake sale. It's about balance.
Yeah, well, balance is something you learn when you have to.
Anyway, Betty's in a different place right now.
Yeah, I guess. But we used to be so close.
Now she's living in the city, she's got this whole other life. You know?
Sometimes, I just... I want my little sister back.
Aw! Yeah, I know.
(GASPS)
- Christina? - Okay. God.
How do you know when you're in labor?
If you have to ask, you're not in labor.
Right, okay.
(OPERA MUSIC PLA YIN G)
- Excuse me. - Shh!
Yes, yes?
Hi, I'm from Mode magazine.
I'm here to pick up a Halston dress from his Fireworks collection?
Yes, yes. Someone from your magazine already came and got it.
What? Who?
Betty Suarez.
No, no. I'm Betty Suarez.
No, no. She left a card.
She had a rather horrible pink stripe in her hair.
Teri.
WILHELMINA: Betty, you're fired.
- You're not fired. Don't worry. - Don't worry? Because of Betty,
we almost lost Keira Knightley and 30 pages of ad revenue.
I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
At the club, I got up to use the bathroom,
and Teri must have taken the information from my BlackBerry.
I thought that she was a friend.
(SCOFFS) Friendship is the oldest trick in the book.
DANIEL: Okay, let's not panic yet.
Elle may be rivals of ours, but they're also businesspeople.
We can make this work, right?
Marc, set up the call.
Hello, Joe Zee, Robbie. Nice to see you both.
- Thanks for taking our call. - Anything for you, Daniel.
Robbie, I love the new 'do.
All that height really makes a statement.
Thanks, Willie. Those earrings really make your face look small.
Okay, so, listen, guys.
We have reason to believe that one of your assistants...
Teri O'Shoughnessy.
... may have taken a certain Halston dress we have on hold.
I don't know what they're talking about.
That's her! You're lying, Teri, and you know it!
Yeah? Prove it, brace-face!
Your pink stripe is stupid!
WILHELMINA: Okay, enough, enough! DANIEL: Betty.
Listen, let's cut the bull.
We all know you have the dress,
you're holding it hostage and trying to ruin our cover.
That's right. We heard you got Keira Knightley for the cover.
I hope this missing dress isn't gonna be a big problem for you.
Nice talking to you!
Consider yourselves dis-invited from my cocktail party!
Yeah, they weren't coming anyway. We're having our own party tonight!
Betty, call me!
I could murder someone right now!
Come on, it was a mistake.
People who make mistakes like that don't belong in this business.
Marc!
(SIGHS)
Daniel, I feel terrible. I'm sorry.
This is my fault.
If it's anyone's fault, it was mine. I just should've had an editor handle it.
No. Look, I can fix this. I could...
I'll call the collector, see if he has another gown.
And I'll call Keira's publicist.
- Betty. - I'm sure if we got another dress...
Betty, come on, go home. I got it from here, okay?
Thank you so much for interviewing me.
I've never been in a newspaper before.
Yeah, well, we're gonna need about 40 copies
and photo approval, if possible.
Well, I'm the surrogate, so I'm not gonna be naming it.
That's weird. What does the father have to say?
Not a lot. He died before the baby was conceived.
(EX CLAIMS)
What?
(SIGHS)
Poor Christina's going through the pregnancy story again.
(GROANS)
Maybe you could go out there and run interference.
No, I'm not really in a party kind of mood.
Are you still stewing about that dress, mi hija?
You can deal with it on Monday. Let it go.
Let it go? Dad, because of me, Mode lost business today.
You didn't see the look on Daniel's face.
It's like he's losing faith in me.
I just can't believe that I let that Teri use me like that.
In fact, where's her stupid business card?
I can't stand that it's anywhere near my organ donor card.
Mom wants to know where the cheese cubes are,
and crazy-fingernail lady wants to know
if we can spike her cider with rum.
Here, take this. I'll talk to crazy-fingernail lady.
(EX CLAIMING)
There you are, you big jerk, Teri.
Thank you so much, Marc. I'll see you there.
Betty, my client is dying to meet you. Where are you going?
I'm so sorry, Hilda, but I have to go.
Betty, the party's hardly even started.
I know, but I think I found a way I can get that Halston dress back from Elle.
It's a long shot, but I'm gonna try.
You know what would be nice?
If you were excited about something I was doing for a change.
I am! I am! I just have to do this really quick. I'll be right back.
You know what, Betty? Don't bother.
Hilda!
Papi, can you talk to her, please? She's being ridiculous.
- No, she's not. You are. - What?
Do you have any idea how hard Hilda worked to get all this ready?
By herself, I might add.
That is not fair. Papi, this is my career.
I am working hard to try and move up,
and if that means that I'm gonna miss a family party every now and then,
well then, I don't have a choice. I have to do this.
You do have a choice. You're choosing to leave.
- Dad. - No, no.
No one supports you more than your family.
We are always behind you 100%.
But right now, Hilda needs you.
Papi, I am sorry that you don't understand this,
but I have to go.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Connor, Molly. So glad you made it.
- Hey. - Your place is amazing.
What a great view of the city.
Thanks, well,
I love looking down at the little people going about their little lives.
(CHUCKLING)
Molly, dear, do you mind if I steal Connor away?
There's someone he has to meet.
Excuse me, thanks.
- Hi. - Hi.
Nice dress.
Thanks. It's no Carlos Miele, but it does the trick.
I can't get over how beautiful this is. It's breathtaking.
Could... I'd like to ask you something.
Do you mind if we just go somewhere a little more private to talk?
Okay.
Ryan, thanks again for helping us get in.
No problem, you talked to me for like 20 minutes at that bar.
Nobody ever talks to the caterer.
Well, you were very interesting.
Tick-tock, Betty. That dress ain't gonna walk itself out.
- Thank you. - Yeah. Good luck.
Okay, I've been trying to figure out the best way to say this,
but there doesn't seem to be one.
I haven't been able to get you out of my mind since we met.
- Daniel, I... - Please, just let me finish.
I know I shouldn't do this.
I know it's bad and terrible and wrong,
and I'm jeopardizing a friendship and a business relationship.
You can't believe how many times I've tried to talk myself out of this.
But I can't change the way I feel.
Daniel, I'm engaged.
Connor and I have been together for almost four years.
He's been through so much with me. You have no idea how much.
I don't want to hurt him.
Neither do I.
Molly, if you can honestly tell me
you don't have feelings for me,
I'll let you walk out that door, get on with your life.
I'll never say another word about this again. I promise.
So I lean across to her, and I whisper, "That is Al Pacino."
And she says, "I didn't order a cappuccino."
(LAUGHING)
Zac, it's that accent. I mean, who can understand a word he says?
Who cares what he sounds like? Look at the way he looks.
So how long have you been dating?
- No. We're not dating. - No, no, no.
I'm sorry. It's just... You make the most divine couple.
Excuse me.
For the record, I was extremely flattered by that.
(CHUCKLES)
Any man in his right mind would be proud to be with you.
Well, we would make quite the power couple.
We definitely get where each other's coming from.
That can be hard to find.
Connor, I have to admit, ever since we had our business trip,
I find it hard to be around you.
I'm sorry. I'm not feeling too well. Do you mind if we leave?
No. Not at all. Thank you for the party. It was lovely.
Yes, thank you.
(SIGHS)
BETTY: Have you found it yet?
MARC: Wait, here, I found the lights!
Yay!
(GASPS) There it is.
Exactly where I said it would be.
Thank you so much, Marc, for helping me.
I'm not doing this for you,
I'm doing this to get a better Christmas present from Wilhelmina.
- That's the spirit. - (GASPS) Oh, my God!
They still do the ugly wall.
(SIGHS) This was totally my idea. Every day, we would put up pictures
of co-workers we hated and then make fun of them.
Good times.
Hey, hurry up, Slowpoke Rodriguez. I don't want to be here all night.
Yeah, well, these vintage snaps are very sensitive,
and I don't want to tear the dress.
(CHUCKLING)
(GASPS)
WOMAN: Come on, let's go inside!
(GASPING)
(LAUGHING)
(SHUSHING)
- Excuse me! Pardon me! Excuse us! - Out of the way! Sorry!
Pardon us, we just have to get her to a taxi.
She's really drunk. Excuse us.
- No, no, no. This way. - Yes!
- No, wait! - Elevators are this way. Elevators...
What the hell are you doing?
Um...
We're taking our dress back! Marc, run!
- You're not going anywhere! - Get out of here!
Hold the elevator!
Hey, Teri! Call me!
All is not as it seems
Thank you.
I take it your conversation with Molly didn't go very well.
I guess we both lost out tonight, huh?
- I beg your pardon? - Come on.
I'm not stupid. I know you're interested in Connor.
(SCOFFS)
What would make you think that?
Well, once I realized you didn't have a business motive for helping me,
I figured you must have a personal one.
And I've seen the way you look at him.
- Well, that's just... - Relax.
I'm not gonna hold the fact that you're human against you.
(WHISPERS) Your secret's safe with me.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Well, well, well. I can't say I'm not intrigued.
(SIGHS)
I guess the three of you may come in.
(SIGHS)
We're in!
Pinch me! Don't touch me.
You guys are unbelievable.
- It was nothing. - Well, it wasn't nothing.
Well, either way. You two should stay, enjoy yourselves. You deserve it.
(SIGHS) Oh, my God.
This is a defining moment.
I'm the first assistant who's ever been invited to a Wilhelmina Slater party.
- Well, I'm here, too. - Not when I tell the story.
Doors are really opening for us, aren't they?
It's all starting.
Oh, my God, there's Tom Wolfe and Zac Posen.
- And... - Jodie Papadakis!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Well, this is the first time I've ever seen an assistant
at a Wilhelmina Slater function.
Well, you know, just networking.
I have all 40 of my new contacts, by the way.
- Do you? - Mmm-hmm.
Tell me, and this is important. Have you tried the shrimp yet?
- No. - They're very spicy.
Spicy!
I can't figure out if I like them or not. I think I do.
(SIGHS)
Jodie, can I ask you a question?
I have been a fan of yours for a very long time now,
and, well, I was wondering if you would ever consider being my mentor?
Let's start with me not kicking you out of YETI,
and we'll take it from there.
- Hi! Betty Suarez, Mode magazine. - Well, how do you do?
I'm a very big fan of your publication.
Hello?
Justin?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Hilda? Where are you? What happened?
- We're at the hospital. - What?
(GASPS)
Oh, my God! Did Christina go into labor?
No.
(CRYING) Betty.
Papi had a heart attack.
What?
Molly.
You were right.
I can't say I don't have feelings for you.
I broke up with Connor.
Oh, nothing's gonna change my love for you
I wanna spend my life with you
So we make love on the grass under the moon
(DOORBELL RINGING)
No one can tell, damned if I do
Forever journeys on golden avenues
I drift in your eyes since I love you
I got that beat in my veins for only rule
Love is to share, mine is for you